Home
Despite what I said earlier, I thought I'd give this a go as you don't seem to be going to do what 9th suggested (<-- please consider) and I really may as well finish this.
Rsn: Paaran Disen
Reason: ...
to give me at least consider giving me the blue phat)
So, where should I begin?
Oh! The very beginning I hear you cry? If you insist…
Well, at first, there was nothing…
Darkness welled and swirled in invisible eddies that could not be, and the very nothingness of the fabric of unreality blazed in fierce torrents against its own self. Voiceless cries sounded in that vast abyss, weeping for their creation, until a lone Being, a creature of Time and Life and Death and All, spoke the Word.
And so it Was.
The green-haired Entity , who deigned call the world into being, walked upon the fields of this new land, sprouting trees and shrubs where he tread, rearing great mountain ranges, and calling forth the very skies and the oceans. Amongst His many creations were the Icyenai, a warrior tribe that inhabited the far northern regions of the world, and it is at this point that I realise I am getting nowhere with this. So, fast-forward several thousands of years, quite a few divine global battles and Guthix knows how many utterances of the word, ‘lol’, to now.
Here I am, wasting away in the alleyways of Varrock with nothing to keep me company but this empty beer glass, my lucky sock, and Dylan, a chronic alcoholic of a dwarf who can’t seem to stop throwing rocks at anyone who doesn’t respond when he asks for their friendship (works every time…), but otherwise, it's kebabs and beer aplenty for that lucky soul! That’s pretty much the only reason I haven’t starved so far. That and the fleas.
So, umm… well, having spent many a year living as a beggar on these streets I know very well what it is feels like each night half-frozen to death. It isn’t so easy to just light a fire either, especially without a hatchet and only level one woodcutting. However, there is a solution to my problem.
As you are probably quite aware, blue promotes high combustibility (and alters the structure of the molecules it dyes, both vastly increasing the bond enthalpies yet acting as a catalyst for their breaking) and added to the highly exothermic nature of paper itself (which is hard to come by, mind) and the shape of the partyhat (see diagram below), this could potentially provide me with a lifetime source of heat and soothe these aching bones of mine. With the use of only a little friction, it would be marvellously easy to get this thing alight and suitably burning.
So, my proposal is simple. You give me the blue partyhat and you will have ridden yourself of a massive burden which you must be itching to get off your shoulders by now.
I understand that deciding who here should get the hat is a difficult thing, but, if I still haven’t convinced you thus far that I am the one... I know a mouse, and he hasn't got a house. I don't know why I call him Gerald. He's getting rather old, but he's a good mouse. If not for me, do it for him.
DO IT FOR GERALD!
~~~
Lol, I tried
P.S.
Are you actually quitting?
Rsn: Paaran Disen
Reason: ...
* IT’S NOT A SOB STORY IF NO-ONE CRIES *
(I hope by the end of this, you will be sufficiently devastated So, where should I begin?
Oh! The very beginning I hear you cry? If you insist…
Well, at first, there was nothing…
Darkness welled and swirled in invisible eddies that could not be, and the very nothingness of the fabric of unreality blazed in fierce torrents against its own self. Voiceless cries sounded in that vast abyss, weeping for their creation, until a lone Being, a creature of Time and Life and Death and All, spoke the Word.
And so it Was.
The green-haired Entity , who deigned call the world into being, walked upon the fields of this new land, sprouting trees and shrubs where he tread, rearing great mountain ranges, and calling forth the very skies and the oceans. Amongst His many creations were the Icyenai, a warrior tribe that inhabited the far northern regions of the world, and it is at this point that I realise I am getting nowhere with this. So, fast-forward several thousands of years, quite a few divine global battles and Guthix knows how many utterances of the word, ‘lol’, to now.
Here I am, wasting away in the alleyways of Varrock with nothing to keep me company but this empty beer glass, my lucky sock, and Dylan, a chronic alcoholic of a dwarf who can’t seem to stop throwing rocks at anyone who doesn’t respond when he asks for their friendship (works every time…), but otherwise, it's kebabs and beer aplenty for that lucky soul! That’s pretty much the only reason I haven’t starved so far. That and the fleas.
So, umm… well, having spent many a year living as a beggar on these streets I know very well what it is feels like each night half-frozen to death. It isn’t so easy to just light a fire either, especially without a hatchet and only level one woodcutting. However, there is a solution to my problem.
As you are probably quite aware, blue promotes high combustibility (and alters the structure of the molecules it dyes, both vastly increasing the bond enthalpies yet acting as a catalyst for their breaking) and added to the highly exothermic nature of paper itself (which is hard to come by, mind) and the shape of the partyhat (see diagram below), this could potentially provide me with a lifetime source of heat and soothe these aching bones of mine. With the use of only a little friction, it would be marvellously easy to get this thing alight and suitably burning.
>> Degree-level Physics Explanation of the Pseudo-thermodyanimcs of Phat Burning: <<
So, my proposal is simple. You give me the blue partyhat and you will have ridden yourself of a massive burden which you must be itching to get off your shoulders by now.
I understand that deciding who here should get the hat is a difficult thing, but, if I still haven’t convinced you thus far that I am the one... I know a mouse, and he hasn't got a house. I don't know why I call him Gerald. He's getting rather old, but he's a good mouse. If not for me, do it for him.
DO IT FOR GERALD!
~~~
Lol, I tried
P.S.
Are you actually quitting?
I guess I'm pretty much saying I'd actually appreciate the phat, and you can be assured it will be put to good use! As a side note, thank you very much for conducting this giveaway. I know it will be a momentous occasion in Cora Dyce history, and be quite the chatter for a long time to come! I guess this wasn't exactly entertaining, but eh, just typed what was on my mind! Thanks for taking me into consideration buddy. 
