Home
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
The Holocaust.
A horse walked into a bar. Several people got up and left as they spotted the potential danger in the situation.
what did the lawyer say to the other lawer?
we are both lawyers
A man walks into a bar, he is an alcoholic and is ruining his family.
What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?
Cancer.
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Dave.
Dave who?
Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.
A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says, "What'll it be?" The duck doesn't say anything because its a duck.
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
You set an alarm for a reasonable hour.
A duck walks into a over 7-11 and says "Give me some Chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.
A white guy, a black guy, and a spanish guy jump off a building. They all die on impact and their families mourn their loss for years to come.
how do you make a plumber cry
you kill his family
Knock Knock
Who's there?
The police, your entire family died in a car accident
a dyslexic man walked into a bar, ordered a beer, and no one was aware of his affliction
How do you stop a black person from drowning?
You toss him a flotation device.
why did the little girl fall off the swing?
because she had no arms.
whyd the little boy drop his ice cream cone?
because he was hit by a bus.
A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why such the long face?"
The horse replies "I've got down syndrome".
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs water skiing?
I don't know, but it sounds like a highly improbable circumstance
Why don't parents let their kids play with Micheal Jackson?
Because he's dead
How do you get a clown off a swing?
Hit him with an axe.
Why is six afraid of seven?
Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now... he knows that. It's--it's just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that seven looks at him... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he's back there... In the jungle... In the darkness.
the WNBA
What did the cab driver say to the black man when he got in?
Where to, sir?
A man walks into a bar and orders 6 shots. The bartender says "Rough day eh?" the man says "Yea, very rough"
The man then goes home and hangs himself.
The Holocaust.
A horse walked into a bar. Several people got up and left as they spotted the potential danger in the situation.
what did the lawyer say to the other lawer?
we are both lawyers
A man walks into a bar, he is an alcoholic and is ruining his family.
What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?
Cancer.
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Dave.
Dave who?
Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.
A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says, "What'll it be?" The duck doesn't say anything because its a duck.
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
You set an alarm for a reasonable hour.
A duck walks into a over 7-11 and says "Give me some Chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.
A white guy, a black guy, and a spanish guy jump off a building. They all die on impact and their families mourn their loss for years to come.
how do you make a plumber cry
you kill his family
Knock Knock
Who's there?
The police, your entire family died in a car accident
a dyslexic man walked into a bar, ordered a beer, and no one was aware of his affliction
How do you stop a black person from drowning?
You toss him a flotation device.
why did the little girl fall off the swing?
because she had no arms.
whyd the little boy drop his ice cream cone?
because he was hit by a bus.
A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why such the long face?"
The horse replies "I've got down syndrome".
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs water skiing?
I don't know, but it sounds like a highly improbable circumstance
Why don't parents let their kids play with Micheal Jackson?
Because he's dead
How do you get a clown off a swing?
Hit him with an axe.
Why is six afraid of seven?
Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now... he knows that. It's--it's just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that seven looks at him... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he's back there... In the jungle... In the darkness.
the WNBA
What did the cab driver say to the black man when he got in?
Where to, sir?
A man walks into a bar and orders 6 shots. The bartender says "Rough day eh?" the man says "Yea, very rough"
The man then goes home and hangs himself.
theyre really funny lol
