James' Jokes

Hello, my wonderful members, and welcome to James' Jokes!

Here you will find top Jokes, which WILL make you laugh so much that you're head falls into a lake. Let's get on with it!

1) Q : Why did the Golfer wear two pairs of trousers?
A : In case got a hole in one.

HAHAHAHAHAHAH

2) Q : What did the fish say when it swam into a lake?
A : "Damn!"

HAHAHAHAHHA!

3) Q : Why are Mushroom's always telling jokes?
A : Because they are Fun Guy's

HAHAHAHAHAHAH

4) Q : Why didn't the skeleton go to the disco?
A : He had nobody to go with.

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

5)
Q : How come Oysters never donate to Charity?
A : They're shellfish.

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA ;P


More will follow!

WeBbY wrote:dont get #4 but rest are cool :] more

No "Body"

didn't understand #2, the rest are good

JamesTehGod wrote:Hello, my wonderful members, and welcome to James' Jokes!

Here you will find top Jokes, which WILL make you laugh so much that you're head falls into a lake. Let's get on with it!

1) Q : Why did the Golfer wear two pairs of trousers?
A : In case got a hole in one.

HAHAHAHAHAHAH

2) Q : What did the fish say when it swam into a lake?
A : "Damn!"

HAHAHAHAHHA!

3) Q : Why are Mushroom's always telling jokes?
A : Because they are Fun Guy's

HAHAHAHAHAHAH

4) Q : Why didn't the skeleton go to the disco?
A : He had nobody to go with.

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

5)
Q : How come Oysters never donate to Charity?
A : They're shellfish.

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA ;P


More will follow!

Loooooool

MKarn wrote:didn't understand #2, the rest are good

He swam into a Dam, in a River. Ya' know the big wall things.

Good :F

MKarn wrote:didn't understand #2, the rest are good

"Dam" like a lake.

phat4tw wrote:

MKarn wrote:didn't understand #2, the rest are good

"Dam" like a lake.

can't believe how dumb some people are

J0SE wrote:

phat4tw wrote:

MKarn wrote:didn't understand #2, the rest are good

"Dam" like a lake.

can't believe how dumb some people are

The damn, like beaver dam? Hoover Dam? Buffalo Bill Dam?

Haha couple of nice jokes, keep adding to them every day. I would like to see more.

Over Living wrote:

J0SE wrote:

phat4tw wrote:

MKarn wrote:didn't understand #2, the rest are good

"Dam" like a lake.

can't believe how dumb some people are

The damn, like beaver dam? Hoover Dam? Buffalo Bill Dam?

Jeremy Dam

keep going

Totally original...

I like these!
More every day please!

second joke funny

Ah, jokes. Here are several from the Edinburgh Fringe Festival:

1) "You know who really gives kids a bad name? Posh and Becks."
– Stewart Francis

2) "Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the telly."
– Tim Vine

3) “I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.”
- Nick Helm

4) “Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.”
- Tim Vine

5) "I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again."
- Tim Vine

6) "I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands when they first came out. I say 'bought', I actually stole it off a short, fat ginger kid."
- Jack Whitehall

7) "Hedgehogs. Why can't they just share the hedge?"
- Dan Antopolski

8 ) "I was watching the London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another runner dressed as an egg. I thought: 'This could be interesting.'"
- Paddy Lennox

9) "Nobody thought Mel Gibson could play a Scot but look at him now! Alcoholic and a racist!"
- Frankie Boyle

10) "Watching the global financial crisis unfold is rather like watching my dad being molested by a clown. I know it's going to affect me, I am just not entirely sure how."
- Adam Hills

11) "A lot of people say I'm egocentric – but enough about them."
- Phil Nichol

12) "Being an England supporter is like being the over-optimistic parents of the fat kid on sports day."
- John Bishop

13) "I've been reading the news about there being a civil war in Madagascar. Well, I've seen it six times and there isn't."
- Dan Antopolski

14) "Dave drowned. So at the funeral we got him a wreath in the shape of a lifebelt. Well, it's what he would have wanted."
- Gary Gelaney

15) "Pornography is often frowned upon, but that's only because I'm concentrating."
– George Ryegold

16) "I waited an hour for my starter so I complained: 'It's not rocket salad."
– Lou Sanders

17) "My mum's so pessimistic, that if there was an Olympics for pessimism … she wouldn't fancy her chances."
– Nish Kumar

Lol, james is retarded irl, leave him alone

I used these jokes in my advertising. I feel like I might get banned.

Mistro wrote:I used these jokes in my advertising. I feel like I might get banned.

Lelele.what advertising?

Lol!

Lol nice ^

Oh, you'll see James. Lelele<3

Lol, Jamie.