The Joke Board! Post a Funny Joke!

If I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich. (THIS IS HILARIOUS!)

i'ved heard of these

old

It would be funny if, while performing an abortion, someone yelled 'abort! abort!'

The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.

The happiest time in any man's life is just after the first divorce.

They keep saying the right person will come along, I think mine got hit by a truck.

Girls are like roads, the more curves, the more dangerous they are

People tend to make rules for others and exceptions for themselves.

Mine isnt amazing but, here it goes.


Why is Chuck Norris like Corn?


Because no matter how much crap he comes out in one piece

Womens' rights.

-Tyler wrote:Womens' rights.

lol come on no need to be sexist now
U do know that there are people in this clan above u that r women so watch out lol

knock-knock

7DB l MKarn wrote:knock-knock

whos there?

Ana

7DB l MKarn wrote:Ana

ana who?

Coo Kay wrote:

7DB l MKarn wrote:Ana

ana who?

Ana THE Banana!


I'm so funny ( sarcasm )

knock knock!!!

Coo Kay wrote:knock knock!!!

whys it knock knock jokes? lol. But whos there..

KGB (because knock knock jokes are awesome)

A man rushes into his house and yells at his wife 'Gina, pack ya things. I've just won the lottery,'
Gina replies, 'shall I pack for warm weather or cold?'
'I don't care,' says the man, 'just as long as you're out of the house by noon,'

Terrible Joke:
Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
A: Because it was dead!

The Terrible joke was funnier than the real joke.

Here's a joke: Paradyce saying "today".

Babak wrote:The Terrible joke was funnier than the real joke.

Here's a joke: Paradyce saying "today".

lol ur joke is funny and yeah I find really bad jokes are funny because their so bad

Why did the kid fall of his bicycle?
-Because his mum threw a fridge at him
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Whats worse then finding a fly in your soup?
-Getting raped by a giant scorpion.
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3 women are sitting at a bar, one says, "I've had sex so many times i can fit two fists in my vagina!" The second one says "Thats nothing, I can fit a guys head up there!", while the two women are arguing, the third women is slowly sliding down the bar stool.
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A women has a husband who farts every time he wakes up, she tells him to go see a doctor or else he'll shit out his organs one day, but he always refuses. One day she woke up early to prepare a turkey for thanksgiving and came up with a brilliant idea, she got the liver and intestines and placed them under the mans ass upstairs. As usual, she hears a loud fart and 5 minutes later, the man comes down the stairs with a giant smile on his face, the wife asks "Why are you so happy?", the man replies, "Well, like you said, I did shit out my organs! But with a latex glove and a little bit of Vaseline, I managed to get them back in!
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A male and a female statue have been standing for 100 years, on first day of the 100th year, an angel comes down from the heavens, it says "Since you have been such good statues for 100 years, I will give you both 1 hour to live like humans and do whatever you want." The spell was cast and the two statues became human. At a bush nearby, there is a rustling noise, laughing, giggling and it sure sounds a lot like sex. The angel comes down to give them a 15 minute warning, the man then says to the woman, "Alright, your turn to hold the pigeon down while I shit on it's head."



Hope you enjoyed

I've already heard a lot of these jokes but I'll make 1.

A women asked her husband "why do when women sleep with lots of men they are bad women? and when men sleep with lots of women then they are a real man?"

Her husband replied "As Confucious says:
when many keys can unlock one lock it is a bad lock. --- women
when one key opens many locks is it a good key.---men"

Victor wrote:old

cooking ones is very old

Legendee | LFK wrote:I've already heard a lot of these jokes but I'll make 1.

A women asked her husband "why do when women sleep with lots of men they are bad women? and when men sleep with lots of women then they are a real man?"

Her husband replied "As Confucious says:
when many keys can unlock one lock it is a bad lock. --- women
when one key opens many locks is it a good key.---men"

Lol. So true..

How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard u throw them.

How many babies does it take to fill up a bathtub? -99

Knock knock(whose there)-- your family was just killed in a terrible car accident

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks why the long face? the horse replys- because my wifes breast cancer has progressed to a point where sheis going to die.

A man walks into a bar--the man is dead because he walks into a solid steel bar.

What is worse then the halocaust---getting raped by a giant scorpian